The Problem May Be the Person in the Mirror

It's easy to spot what your spouse is doing wrong. He doesn’t listen. She complains too much. He won’t lead. She won’t follow. The list goes on.

But here’s a question too few ask: "What if the problem is... me?"

As a Marriage Coach, I’ve seen this pattern countless times - a husband or wife convinced their spouse is the root of all the issues. But when we slow down and look deeper, we often find that the other person is reacting to something. Something we’re doing - or neglecting to do.

Sometimes, what we call a "bad attitude" is really the symptom of a heart that has grown tired of being unheard, unloved, or unprotected. Sometimes that silence, distance, or disrespect didn’t come out of nowhere. It came from a history. A pattern. A wound.

And unless we are honestly asking ourselves, "Am I part of the reason they act this way?" we’re not ready to fix the problem. We might just be feeding it.

Allah tells us: {Indeed, Allah will not change the condition of a people until they change what is in themselves}
(Surah Ar-Ra'd 13:11)

The solution starts with the one in the mirror.

Check your tone. Your consistency. Your effort. The du’aa you make when no one sees. The patience you show when it would be easier to explode.

Change that - and you might see a different version of your spouse looking back at you.

You might find that the person you thought was the problem... was really responding to the pain they didn’t know how to speak.

And now, you both have the chance to rewrite the story - with Allah’s help.

If you're ready for real solutions and want to discuss this privately, schedule a one-on-one consultation here:
https://www.abdul-lateef.com/?marriage

What if the key to fixing your marriage isn’t changing them... but changing you?

Let’s talk about it.